Future: Fight For Myself

I'm trying to turn this all around. I have to pick myself up and go on and move on from my past. Not James. But my general past. I need to learn, Season 1 is over and so is Season 1.5 and so is Season 2, I need to get past that and stop putting all of this presure on myself to go back to that. I can't. I wish I could. But it's not going to happen. This is how it ends. I didn't expect it, but this is how it ends. This is how we all end. All of this life presure is off of me and I'm 100% fine. FINE. I'm going to be like I was in Season 1 and this is something I can control, I'm going to fight for myself more than often. Yes, James fights for me, but he shouldn't have to be the only one fighting for me. I can fight too and I will. Fighting for myself might be hard, but it's going to be worth it in the end when it's only me left and I already know how to fight for myself from this experience now. I know I need to learn my differences and how to do more on my own. I know how to do a lot but I need to know how to do more to fight for myself. I'm trying to leave my mistakes behind and know that if I can fight for myslef, I can live my future better. I know what I need to do to fight for myself. Yeah, James can somewhat fight for me now, but I can do something about this too. I need to pick myself up and know how to go on by myself once A-Troupe is done and I'm back on my own weight and feet. I don't need anyone to pick me up and help me trail along through life, why can't I just do that myself? Of course, hearing that James is going to fight for me is... all I wanted to hear, but I need to do some of this on my own too. I can't stay low, I have to leave my mistakes from the past away. I need to pick myself up and realize, I need to learn before I have nowhere to lean, no where to go. Nothing. I have to learn myself. I know I need to do this by myself and leave my mistakes behind.

Look at me there. I was being voted off E-Girls right before my eyes and it was for doing the right thing. You know what I did after that? I fought for myself. I learned to make it through on my own. I learned how to do things and get through without Emily and the E-Girls. I have to learn with this sooner or later. Or else I'll be stuck in that phase where I don't know what to do anymore. I have to learn to live without support of everyone else. Yes, I'll know The Next Step for a while longer and I have, but soon I wont. Soon, we'll all go off and get our own jobs alone. So, I don't have forever. Time goes by faster than you really think. I will lean on James for things for now, but soon I'll need to lean on myself and realize, "Riley, you have to do this." Not, James or Emily or someone is fighting for me, so I have nothing to lean on but them. Soon, I'll need to lean on myself.

I had troubles leaning on myself at points, but after Emily came and hugged me, I realized all I have left is myself so that is who I'll lean on. Me. I had to lean on myself and rely on myself to get through my hard life. Now, everything is regular again, but I will need this post to help me soon. I'll one day remember the post "Future: Fight For Myself" and go back to this and realize. This may seem dumb, but if the future Riley is reading this one day, I want to let you know that you have to go on and you need to pick yourself up and fight for yourself. You have no choice now. You have to learn to do things by yourself, please take this advice.

FOR FUTURE ME.